Alcohol dependency

I hadn't gone out in a while, and also acquired some bad habits that have slowed down my learning. One of them is developing an alcohol dependency.

Ever since Brad told me he wasn't opposed to drinking, I started drinking while picking up chicks. I reasoned that if I could push myself further with alcohol and develop my skill, once I got "good" I could then work on gaming without alcohol. (Perhaps I am at that
point now.)

I've noticed that nowadays I still have anxiety even with moderate amounts of alcohol. I overcome it by drinking more, but by that time my judgment is cloudy, my reactions are slower, and my repertoire is limited. The next day my memory sucks and I feel like shit.

Two days ago I went completely sober for the first time at a bar. It took me about two hours to make my first approach. Wow, it's gotten pretty bad. Eventually I overcame my anxiety and warmed up by talking to some guys, then girls. I managed to get the number of a porn star but my escalation wasn't strong enough afterward and she lost interest.

Yesterday I tried out to be an assistant coach. Without alcohol my first few approaches were crap. I ejected, I couldn't maintain my frame, I had limited repertoire. Then I started drinking and things went a little better but I can't help but feel that my alcohol dependency caused me to be cut.

Tonight I went out sober. A guy on the street gave me a wristband for free entry to a house club. I figure this is a pretty good way to eliminate anxiety, going to a loud club.

I acclimated myself to the loud ass music. I didn't push myself too hard, I wanted to get myself used to this kind of stimulation through exposure therapy, instead of forcing myself to do things I didn't want to do and getting all anxious about it. I made three approaches.

So tonight was a success, overcoming my alcohol dependency (at least just feeling fine on the dance floor). Next time, more approaches!

Lessons learned:
- using alcohol can become a crutch to learning. On the other hand, without using alcohol I might not have improved my game to the point it is now.